Manifest that sh#t
I LOVE veterinary medicine!
I know, I know, every veterinarian says that, at least we used to….I remember having so much enthusiasm for this profession, for healing animals, for helping them feel better and live longer and love us more. When I got that letter and phone call that I got into vet school I thought my dreams had come true! Fast forward a few years and there I was working long stressful hours at all hours , since I used to moonlight at the local emergency clinic throughout vet school as a tech and then after for my second job as a vet, like I didn’t have enough to do but I had hefty student loans and no personal boundaries.
I felt myself getting apathetic, getting sick, destroying my personal relationships and feeling resentful, but I didn’t even have the time to notice and ask myself why let alone do something about it. Before I knew it I was drowning, living in a fast paced city, which I hated, i started to get anxiety and depression so I thought the answer was to open my own small quiet integrative practice where I could do things my way and that worked for a while for the stress and anxiety and depression didn’t go away it just started showing up in physical symptoms of insomnia, irritability, migraines, digestive issues and constant low grade nausea.
I was drowning and desperate and after losing both grandparents in 2017 and in 2018 when I lost my heart dog to cancer and couldn’t cope anymore, I went on a spiritual journey to Peru which changed my life although I didn’t realize how much at the time. I also didn’t realize how bad my situation was, so nose to the grindstone and through sheer force of will I limped along until COVID hit in 2020.
I had just returned from my 5th trip to Costa Rica, my sanctuary, and the resulting financial and mental circumstances at that time forced me to make a decision. All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks, I HATED my life,that was hard to face and I needed a drastic change or I wasn't going to survive. So I did the unthinkable, I closed my doors, I sold everything I owned, I packed my 2 bags and I escaped like a refugee (for the second time in my life) to Costa Rica. I thought, “what’s the worst that can happen? I stay, I’m done for, I go and I have a chance to start from scratch or I can just walk out into the ocean and never come back”.
Yup either option seemed like it was better than staying, that’s how desperate I was. When I got here, I had nothing, I knew nobody and I had no real plan. WIldsun Rescue needed help, so with no place to stay I stayed there and after a crash course in primate medicine with the onsite wildlife biologists and volunteers we did our best for the wildlife in our care while the world went mad. But somehow, through this madness, my healing journey began. By giving back and rebuilding I had to acknowledge what was truly important and necessary for my own wellbeing.
All of a sudden, i Loved my life, I didn’t resent my work and my energy was coming back along with my life’s purpose. Then the most magical thing happened, I found my soul mate and got married for the first time at the tender young age of 47!
What a beautiful lesson to learn later in life that it’s never too late to grow and heal and to manifest that shit!!!
